Photo by David Wiacek
I’ve been there, too.
Before I became a career coach, for every job offer I received back in the day, I probably got 3 or more rejections. So when a client now calls me on the verge of tears because their perfect job didn’t pan out, I enter the conversation from a place of personal experience. It helps me approach the situation with empathy--instead of spewing dry, clinical, action-oriented advice that might fall on deaf ears.
Never stop moving.
Having coached countless clients through successful interviews and salary negotiations, I can tell you one thing: while getting a job rejection sucks, the only thing to do is to keep moving forward. Sure, it can sting emotionally. It’s okay to be upset for a day or two, but don’t let it weigh you down for much longer. My happiest, most successful clients pick up the pieces and continue with their job search, fists clenched and arms swinging! Just like a shark will die if it stops moving (or so I’ve heard), job search momentum will quickly fizzle out if a client wallows in dejection for too long. It takes time to develop the job search pipeline, pursue leads, talk to your network, set up interviews, etc. You've got to get back to it as soon as you can.
Failure is normal. Expect it, then conquer it.
Some degree of failure in life—and in the job search—is inevitable. Hitting a bump in the road is perfectly natural from time to time. Even if you were the “perfect” candidate and did every little thing right, there are a million reasons why it didn’t work out. Some of the reasons might be fair (e.g. an equally experienced candidate asked for much less money, or the position was cut at the very last minute) while other reasons might get your blood boiling (the gig went to the CEO’s bratty nephew), but no one said life was fair. You can’t control the variables. Well, you can control one: your reaction.
Have some fun. Force yourself, if you have to.
After the initial shock of the rejection, do something fun. Show yourself some self-care and self-love. The job search can be a painfully drawn out process that saps your hopes and drains your energy. Whether it’s getting a long-postponed massage or checking out that new restaurant, taking a one-day class to explore a budding hobby or reading that dust-covered book, do something that will elevate your spirit.
Get out there. Just do it.
You may not be ready to re-start full-throttle all the networking and job applications right away, but going out and interacting with people is a good bet (unless you’re in a sour mood and will potentially turn people off). They say that when one door closes another one opens, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this truth in action at bars, restaurants, elevators, and various public spaces. If you’re completely miserable, stay home and don’t spread the misery virus. If you’re feeling “over the hump” you’ll find that many people are empathetic and willing to help. From my experience and that of my clients, other people are much more likely to help you if you’re hopeful, positive and open to receiving help. Even if you’re feeling desperate because money is tight, or embarrassed because all of your siblings or friends have amazing jobs, don’t worry about that for now (or, preferably, ever).
Reflect, analyze, improve.
Of course, it’s possible that the reason you didn’t get the job was because, despite your self-perception, you performed poorly during the interview process. Or not poorly, but just a little less optimally compared to the chosen candidate. Take some time to reevaluate your interview experience and consider areas for improvement. Did you answer behavioral questions with ease and confidence? Did you provide sufficient and concrete examples of relevant skills? Did you ask the interviewer(s) a ton of really thoughtful questions? Were you excited and professional throughout the entire experience? If you established good rapport with your interviewers, and are crafting a thank you email (if you aren't, why not?), consider asking them for one piece of feedback: what impressed them most about your candidacy, and where might you focus your energies to improve your interviewing skills for the future? You might not always get a straight answer (or any answer at all), but it might be illuminating if you do. The mark of a true professional is an ability to understand one’s own shortcomings and actually work to move beyond them.
You are not alone.
You are neither the first nor the last person to get rejected by a prospective employer. Feel free to ask your friends and colleagues how they overcame their failures in the job search. Do some online research—there are plenty of free resources. Check out the jobs that have been posted most recently while you were busy interviewing. Hire a coach to help you move past the funk and toward a successful career. Don’t waste your precious time, energy and health on feeling upset for too long. You’ll need that energy for your next interview.
Note on photo, above: My dog has taught me a lot about the job search. Don't believe me? Read about it here.
David is a career coach and copywriter. He helps professionals find more meaningful, better-paying careers; he also crafts compelling copy for small-to-medium size businesses, both for print and digital media.
Career Fixer LLC
By Dr. Dinorah Nieves and David Wiacek
With tax season upon us, many are wondering how to get the biggest bang for each buck of our refund. Save it for a rainy day? Take that trip your family's been talking about? The list goes on. It's one of the few times each year that we find ourselves check-in-hand and uncertain of how it would be best spent. Sound familiar? If so, consider investing that refund back into your career! Studies show a strong correlation between job satisfaction and overall happiness, so every dollar invested in furthering your career is a dollar well spent all-around.
Here are eight ways to get that refund working for you:
1. Take an online course for a specific skill.
This doesn’t mean you have to shell out thousands of dollars or return to school full-time. These days, there are tons of online courses available, many of which are free or low in cost. If there’s a particular skill set that is well-regarded in your line of work but absent from your resume, now is the time to add it. Whether it’s a technical skill (e.g. software, statistics) or a soft skill (e.g. management, leadership), learning a new skill can boost your confidence, impress prospective employers and command a higher salary. Don’t forget to add it to your resume.
2. Attend an industry training or trade conference.
Whether you work in a common industry (e.g. healthcare, finance), or one that is a bit more obscure (say, underwater hospitality), nearly all industries have trade conferences, expos, trainings, and other events where you can network, pitch, sell and brush up on your field-specific knowledge. For just the cost of registration (and maybe associated travel), you’ll meet prospective clients, business partners and mentors. Plus, you’ll learn what’s brand spankin’ new in the industry, which you can leverage in the name of a promotion.
3. Buy a modern, well-fitting suit.
We don’t advocate blowing through your entire refund check on all the latest fashions, but there is one item of clothing that is a must in every professional’s closet: a modern, industry-appropriate, well-fitting and comfortable suit. Even if you don't believe that style matters in your particular line of work, a sharp suit can make a strong impression and boost your self-confidence at the next interview, business meeting or networking event. Have at least one neutral-colored, clean and pressed suit, ready to roll at all times. You never know when the next opportunity will arise.
4. Hire a career coach.
Consider the benefits of hiring a professional coach. If you feel stagnated, confused about next steps, or exhausted by the job search, an experienced coach can help breathe new life into your work ambitions. A good coach can beef up your resume and LinkedIn profile, boost your networking presence, prep you for challenging interviews, and teach you critical negotiation techniques. Securing a successful job transition can be difficult (whether we're talking a promotion, a new job or a whole new field). The money you invest in a career coach is likely to come back to you tenfold in the form of higher pay and greater fulfillment.
5. Upgrade your professional tool belt.
Sharpen your competitive edge by ensuring that your professional tools are top-notch. Whether you're an accountant who depends on complex software or an artist ready to try a different canvas, the advice is the same. New products and materials are constantly hitting the market, increasing efficiency and pushing the limits of creativity. Do your research and purchase the best equipment your trade has to offer. Armed with the right hardware, software and supplies… you’ll be unstoppable.
6. Download good "apps."
Your time, money and connections are your three most valuable career-related resources. Yet, with so much going on in your life, it probably seems hard to keep track of any of them, doesn't it? Lucky for us, there are apps out there to help you do just that. Use your computer, tablet and/or smartphone to access "applications" that mange your money, schedule your time and organize your networks. You can find "To-Do" lists for your tasks and deadlines, sophisticated calendars that help structure your schedule, expenditure trackers for your finances and phone books that re-arrange your contacts by job title and other helpful networking categories. Flip through the demos, read the reviews and then buy one or two to get you started.
7. Take your colleagues to lunch.
Part of what makes a job satisfying is the feeling of community that one gets from their team. So, whether you currently have a group of co-workers that you feel grateful for, or want to make a friend or two to "talk shop" with, treating a few folks to lunch is a great way to foster some business bonding. Take them to that little bistro you like so much, or just have a few pizza pies delivered to the office during lunchtime. It can help to offset the daily stresses of hard work and foster communication between you and your comrades.
8. Decorate your work space.
Statistics show that employees who decorate their work space are more productive than their counterparts. So, think about what gets you motivated and make sure your space reflects those stimulating sounds, sights and scents that keep your spirits at their highest. Paint your home office a warm color, spruce up your cubicle with colorful flowers or keep soothing oils in the car for your days "out in the field."
Too often people spend their refund check on impulsive purchases, only to find that the clothes quickly go out of style or the gadget is obsolete a few months later. Your refund check can be so much more useful for your career and general life satisfaction. Take a moment to assess your professional trajectory—everything from your office desk to your industry skill set, from your business suit to your networking opportunities—and find the best way to invest the money in yourself. You’ll reap those career benefits for a lifetime.
Dr. Dinorah Nieves is a life coach, writer and motivational speaker known for her unique brand of edgy enlightenment designed to help you to get focused and grow hard. For more information, visit: http://www.DinorahNieves.com
David Wiacek is an experienced career coach and copywriter. His clients range from recent college grads to C-level executives. He helps professionals navigate the complex modern-day job search to find more fulfilling, better-paying jobs. For more information, visit: davidthefixer.com
Photo by David Wiacek
Gratitude X Attitude = Grattitude. Bronx, NYC, 2016 - Photo by D. Wiacek
Humanity has some room for improvement.
I’m here in my living room, having just recovered from a flu-like cold (or maybe a cold-like flu?), with a residual cough so loud it could cause an avalanche. And, yet, despite my unpleasant physical state, the only thing on my mind is gratitude. I used to commute via MetroNorth from Westchester to Manhattan every day (the above photo was taken from the train as we passed through the Bronx), and I used to be bummed not about how sad or exhausted my fellow commuters looked, but about the fact that I probably looked just as bad as everyone else. It wasn’t a pleasant realization. Of course, most of my fellow passengers came from at least middle-class if not upper-class households, so the misery was all the more striking. After all, most of the train’s occupants had no reason to look so wretched—at least from a material standpoint.
I’m a recovering psychology major, and over the years, I’ve leafed through thousands of books, journal articles, online blogs, and other digital clippings devoted to various self-help topics. One theme that permeates most of the literature is the idea that harnessing gratitude can help get you unstuck from life’s ruts. For the longest time I didn’t believe that anyone could use gratitude as a tool to combat real troubles, whether professional or personal. I’ll save you the time-consuming burden of reading all those books and articles (and I won’t charge you a dime for the thousands of hours I’ve saved you, either—it’s my gift to you!). Below is a distillation of those countless and very valuable books and blogs, colored by my own experience and that of my friends, relatives and career coaching clients on the “how/what/why” of practicing gratitude.
Consider making it a regular practice.
As with any good habit, daily practice yields maximum benefits. If not every day, then practice gratitude as often as you remember to do it. Certainly not just once a year at the Thanksgiving table. That’s often just for show, or because of social pressure. Rather, set up a daily reminder on your phone, but during a time of day that makes sense for you. If your mornings are hectic, you’ll just hit snooze and ignore the reminder. You know yourself better than that! Be honest with yourself. Find that minute or 5 in the day or night when you have some time to pause and reflect.
Start it first thing in the morning.
I know that above I said find time either in the day or night, but I’m a huge proponent of starting the day off on the right foot (which in my case, being a leftie, is my left foot). I do my best, as we all do, to avoid my phone as the first interaction of the day, though sometimes I fail. I even go so far as to “hack” my internet browsing experience: I set my browser’s default home page to show positive news (inspirational, funny, nature-related, cute, etc.). Rather than reading an urgent email from a client to make my heart pump, or seeing the tragic news of the day to make my heart sink, I make sure the first thing I do in the morning is pause and reflect on all the good things in my life. I have a job—no, a career—that I absolutely love (it wasn’t always that way). I have a roof over my head, and clothes, and a puppy who makes my heart melt at least thrice a day (I lied! He’s a 6-year-old dog but he looks and acts like a puppy; he even taught me a few things about the job search). Practicing gratitude as the day's first order of business colors the experience of my entire day. I’m that much more upbeat and resilient, no matter how tough the day may become. And that’s no lie.
Make it viral.
Share gratitude with others. I call gratitude-sharing the “contagious silver lining syndrome.” Think about it: when you come across someone who is joyful and grateful, it rubs off on you. It immediately elevates your mood and reminds you to find the good in your life; whereas when you encounter a miserable creature--whether at work or at home--it just drains your mood and depletes your energy, clouds your judgment, and decreases productivity/creativity/desire. Well, you can become that inspirational person for others. If you are grateful for something, it doesn’t hurt to share that sentiment (it can be gratitude for anything, and doesn’t have to gratitude for that person specifically, although you do earn karmic bonus points if that’s the case.). A smile, a kind word or gesture… these things go a long way. Whether you’re heading to an interview or you see someone else who is, share the love. It’ll come back to you some day, in some way (or at the very least you’ll feel good about it in the moment).
Workplace gratitude for your talents… and limitations.
Be grateful for your own strengths. Own what you know! Be proud of what you have already accomplished—whether it’s a technical task or an interpersonal achievement, like leading a team to success on a tough cookie of a project. But also be grateful for your own limitations. These shortcomings may feel uncomfortable and cause bouts of low self-esteem, but they are the universe’s way of forcing you to interact with others, to lean on other minds and hearts. Other people will fill in the gaps, complementing the skills and knowledge you don’t yet have. Praise others (within reason), and actively learn from them. I often recommend to my career coaching clients that they invite industry leaders to an informational interview by treating them to lunch or coffee. It works wonders for building networks, and sometimes leads to a real job interview. This sort of interpersonal gratitude is, in my humble and flawed opinion, a cornerstone of any successful individual, team, organization, or work initiative (e.g. diversity/inclusiveness). Start to replace fear/doubt/inadequacy/jealousy with gratitude and you’ll go far.
Dig a little deeper. Be specific.
How should one practice gratitude? Well, that’s really a personal matter. You’ll figure it out, if you haven’t already. One thing that works for me, though, is that I don’t just perform a rote Thanksgiving Day-esque list of what I’m grateful for (i.e. home, family, health). I pick one or two things each day and get much more specific. For example, I am grateful for my legs, because they let me walk, and run, and dance, and travel. I am grateful for my friends, who gently (although sometimes not-so-gently) remind me of my shortcomings, and help me become a better human being. I’m grateful for my dog, because he shows unconditional love and gets me enjoying the outdoors several times a day. I’m grateful for this laptop: it’s light as a feather, very fast, and it connects me with friends, family and clients around the world without ever complaining (okay, maybe the occasional error message). The more specific I am, the more meaningful the exercise, and the better I feel. The gratitude spills into everything else: interactions with clients, with friends, with relatives, and even with my dog. Now if only I could learn to practice unconditional gratitude like Nacho...
Don’t force it on other people, but maybe force it on yourself.
You can’t force other people to be grateful. In fact, it might even backfire because humans can easily get jealous/righteous and respond with a “$%^@, you don’t know me! You don’t know my life! Let me be miserable!” It might seem like I’m trying to convince people in this post, but really that's not the case. I just wanted to share some insights, and if you're reading this, I'm grateful for that alone. Don’t worry; I won’t get offended if you think gratitude is a waste of time. Or maybe you practice gratitude on a regular basis, in which case you can probably skip this so-called lecture (but if you are still reading, maybe teach me a thing or two by sharing your experience in the Comments section below). After all, I’m only a novice gratitude practitioner, if that’s even the technical term for it. Sure, I hope more people would focus on gratitude rather than blame, on strengths rather than weaknesses; but at the end of the day, I can’t force anyone—except for myself. And I choose to make the effort to practice gratitude. Sometimes it feels like a chore, but not often. Even so, getting your chores done is important for a happy, fulfilling life.
Perhaps this is a stretch, but I even go so far as to be grateful for the people who drive me crazy. Whether it’s that rare but precious prospective client who contacts me 14 times before deciding to purchase my services, or a friend who knows which of my buttons to press—it’s all just a playground of life’s twists and turns, and gratitude helps me deal with it best I know how: with a patient smile.
If with this post I happen to remind just one person, in one moment, to pause and reflect on the wonder in their lives, then that’s just dandy. Icing on the cake, really. Oh, man, do I love cake. I also love my clients, and nature, and equality... so as a token of my gratitude I proudly earmark 5% of my profits toward environmental and social causes. 5% isn't much but it is something and, besides, that overpriced cup of fancy coffee can wait.
If you have any personal insights on how practicing gratitude has changed your life, feel free to share below. Thank you for reading. Have the loveliest day.
David is a career coach and copywriter. He helps professionals find more meaningful, better-paying jobs; he also crafts compelling copy for small-to-medium size businesses, both for print and digital media.
Poly-creative writer, brand marketer and career coach. Bakes a mean eclair and snaps thought-provoking photos, but is best known for helping clients achieve personal and professional growth.